marjaerwin: (Default)
I can’t make it to the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference. In the past it hasn’t been accessible with my ptsd and my sensory processing issues. But it is the leading trans health resource in the states.

And– as much as transition has been right for me– detransition can be right for some people.

I think trans health resources should include detransition resources.

Carey Callahan’s response to the decision, for those who can watch video:

tw for dog barks.

On their own or in combination with transitioners’ perspectives, detransitioners’ perspectives can:

1. Help people find better detransition resources, if that’s what they need.
2. Help find ways for people to disentangle social from biologically-rooted dysphoria. Some of us transitioners have our own experiences there, too.
3. Help find ways for people starting hormones to decide whether it’s better to continue hormones and/or transition, pause, or stop hormones and/or detransition.
4. Help find ways for people to cope with dysphoria. Sometimes there’s too much puberty damage. Sometimes there’re too many barriers to transition, or medical issues that force an interruption in hormones or prevent surgery.

I’ve emailed the Mazzoni Center about this. Maybe you can too.
marjaerwin: (Default)
Beating people up is an act of violence! It's not okay just because we're disabled and you're complying with the law!
marjaerwin: (Default)
Sites have the right to leave hate speech, or to remove it from their pages.

They ought to be clear what they’re doing, though.

The Guardian community standards currently state: “5. We will not tolerate racism, sexism, homophobia or other forms of hate-speech, or contributions that could be interpreted as such.”

They also leave up posts using “i*****,” and “m****.”

They also remove posts pointing out that “i*****” is a dehumanizing slur, which the right-wing media have pushed to try to normalize Arpaio-like violence, and that “m****” was a classification in forced sterilization campaigns and is an ableist slur.

These aren’t better than other slurs because they’re more common. If anything they’re worse, because they show attitudes are more normalized, so the violence is more common too.
marjaerwin: (Default)
First, Trump’s using the justice department to compile enemies lists, starting with the subpoena against Disrupt J20, which targets 1.3 million people.

Second, Trump’s using the bogus voter fraud commission to collect voter lists and disenfranchise people. Russian hackers also targetted voter lists.

With sufficiently extensive enemies lists, the Trump administration would know even more about whom to purge from the voter lists to protect their power.

Third, Trump’s bothsiderism condemns anti-Nazi organizing, enables neo-Nazi violence, and blames survivors of neo-Nazi violence.

With this combination, there’s no reason to expect to be able to vote Trump out in 2020. More Americans already voted to keep him out in 2016. How has that worked out?
marjaerwin: (Default)
Judging by the polls, Trump’s supprt has gone up since the Nazi terror attacks in Charlottesville, and since his bothsiderist bullshit.

I don’t know what’s going on. At best it’s statistical noise... but even so that means that:

As many Americans support neo-Nazi violence as condemn it, and

As many Americans condemn survivors and opponents of neo-Nazi violence

And that is fucking scary.
marjaerwin: (Default)
My left ankle is acting up, so I’m looking for a brace to walk without further injury, one which I can wear without contact dermatitis. I have plain cotton socks, but I’m not sure how much of a barrier they’ll be. I’ve also looked for wrist and elbow braces.

I’m searching for hypoallergenic options. And at least these don’t include latex. But they do include spandex/lycra, and other elastics, and nylon, and polyester, and even aloe blistering vera. And these can trigger some people’s allergies, like mine. So the results can be hyperallergenic.
marjaerwin: (Default)
Spear+Shield is probably the most common armament in pre-modern history.


Classical ‘Ellenic hoplites?

Spear in the right hand, hoplon in the left.

Classical Roman triarii?

Often hasta in the right hand, scutum in the left, though they probably eventually switched to swords.

Late Roman pedites?

Probably usually spear in the right hand, scutum in the left, though there’s some debate and there were more specialist pedites including sagittarii and ballistarii.

Zulu warriors?

Generally spear in one hand, shield in the other.

Typical militia forces?

Often spear in one hand, because it requires less iron-working than swords, shield in the other.


Spear+Shield is also banned in many roleplaying games, because they define spears as two-handed weapons.

Pathfinder includes shortspears, spears, and lances. It’s *possible* that they count 8+ foot spears as one-handed shortspears and 16+ foot pikes as two-handed spears.

Basic Roleplaying includes short spears, long spears, lances, and pikes. It’s clearly stated that 3-meter spears are long spears and two-handed.

Savage Worlds defines spears as two-handed.

Entropic Gaming System defines spears as two-handed.

marjaerwin: (Default)
I don't really want to talk about my fear of dogs and my panic attacks. It might help explain things though. It involves some graphic imagery.

Read more... )

So I think my subconscious interprets the horror as immediate danger from dogs.

marjaerwin: (Default)
“I'm not an "ableist", I resent being called one, and I'm not going to sterilize my language of useful words. You, however, have gone from tone-trolling to name calling. You might want to think about what that says about you.”

I was literally responding to your use of eugenicist slurs to call other people names. Yet you accuse me of "name calling." And you are offended that I object to these slurs. Yet you accuse me of "tone trolling.”

We live in an ableist society. 50% of the people killed by police are disabled. 40% of the homeless are disabled. Public transportation may be inaccessible depending on disabilities. Streets, sidewalks, and crosswalks may be inaccessible. Government services will be inaccessible depending on disabilities.

It's impossible to escape these attitudes. I've learned a lot of ableism, and I'm trying to unlearn it.
marjaerwin: (Default)
“I****,” “i*******,” and “m****” were classifications in forced sterilization campaigns. Carrie Buck was classified as a “m****” and Buck v. Bell claimed “three generations of i******** are enough.”

“But everyone uses those words!”

Not everyone, but most people.

And most people beat and endanger disabled people.

I have hyperacusis and a non-epileptic strobe sensitivity. So policymakers beat me up and endanger me with their insistence on backup beaters, sirens, strobe lights, turn signals, etc. And drivers beat me up and endanger me.

“Tone Trolling!”

It’s already left me vomiting after one pre-dawn strobing, and it’s already gotten me hit by a car. So excuse me if I’m *angry* about ableism.
marjaerwin: (Default)
You ever have nightmares where half the nightmare is remembering, rather than experiencing, something?

I had a nightmare where I remembered people keeping small carnivorous plants. They had narrow sticky stalks, and they big jaws like Venus Flytraps. But people couldn’t keep control of them, and in a few months they replaced all the other plants, and giant ones were swaying in the sky. And you couldn’t burn them because they’d release toxic gas, and there was a rumor that they could cloud and control your mind…

I think my nightmare *might* have something to do with allergy season, and with the nasty side-effects I had from cetirizine for the past few days.
marjaerwin: (Default)

Do they still have signs claiming “Metro is Accessible”?

I can’t use the system because it’s inaccessible, and this will make it even worse, this will make it as inaccessible as Hell.

Depending on the ingredients, perfume can cause blinding tears, sneezing, asthma attacks, migraines, and blisters on contact. Of course, not everyone’s allergic to every perfume, but it’d be rude for me to wear one containing, for example, urushiol around people who are allergic to it, it would be rude for other people to wear one containing any allergen around people allergic to it, and it is reckless and discriminatory to fill subway cars with it.

Metro is a government agency. It's supposed to follow the Equal Protection Clause and the Americans with Disabilities Act. This policy would violate both.
marjaerwin: (Default)
“Maybe you should stay off the internet if name calling offends you so much.“

Maybe you should get off the internet if you insist on using eugenicist slurs like i****, i*******, and m**** everywhere.

I have hyperacusis and a non-epileptic photosensitivity, so I don’t have accessible public transportation, and I don’t have safe crosswalks. It’s not like I can work without the internet, or go to the library, or just talk to people without the internet.
marjaerwin: (Default)
Three ways abled discourse excludes disabled people's voices:

1. Hostility. For example, triggering survivors makes it harder for survivors to join in and be understood.

2. Passivity. For example, using formats which exclude blind people, or exclude deaf people, makes it harder for blind people, or deaf people to join in and be understood.

3. Majoritarianism. For example, dismissing minority groups' language to describe our experiences, especially where these diverge from the majority's experiences.

I have sensory disabilities. Including hyperacusis. I know a few common words for strobings, though not enough. I haven't any common words for beatings and for those of us with hyperacusis. I try to use the available words, such as beatings, pain-beatings, sound-beatings, sensory bombardment, pain-hammers, backup beaters, sirens, car horns, etc. But it's hard to be understood.
marjaerwin: (Default)
I just went to pick up my medicine… and got STROBED by 3 sets of police cars, 1 fire truck, and 1 school bus. I have a nasty migraine, but I didn’t get hit by a car this time.

(Yes, they arm school buses in America.)
marjaerwin: (Default)
[Revised Version]


Both are good things.

Each is a different thing.


Freedom of speech is the right to speak your mind without fear of punishment.

Governments and death squads have often violated this. Telecom monopolies can also violate this. Other corporations have too much power, but don’t usually have the same ways to violate this.

Unfortunately, American society still doesn't respect this for whistleblowers exposing government secrets, didn't for anti-war organizers condemning the draft (Schenk) didn't for union organizers until the government tried to use anti-Union and anti-left laws against the right (Brandenburg v. Ohio), and still doesn't for people laughing at Jeff Sessions.

Freedom of speech often extends to protesting against someone else’s speech.

Freedom of speech doesn’t generally extend to death threats, defamation, or fighting words. It is debatable whether it should extend to outing people, or deliberately forcing people to relive trauma. But any legal restrictions are more likely to protect the rulers and police spies than to protect the rest of the people.


Open discussion is the good practice of creating space for informed discussion of different viewpoints.

Unfortunately, American society gives a bigger mic to people with more power, or more money.

Furthermore, the limits of language give a bigger audience to people with more widespread experiences. Consider the stereotypical problem of a sighted person trying to explain color to a blind-from-birth person. It's not so different for a photosensitive sighted person trying to explain strobe symptoms to a non-photosensitive sighted person. Descriptions such as violence, and endangerment, may be taken as hyperbole, metaphor, or balderdash. Metaphors may also be taken as descriptions. I'm not sure it's easier for those of us who experience pain and loss of balance and direction at low frequencies to explain these to someone who experiences seizures at high frequencies either, or vice-versa.

A lot of times, on an issue-by-issue basis, it would make sense to give the biggest mic to people who are more affected by an issue, or are more knowledgable about it. But who decides? I wouldn’t trust any power structure to decide. Freedom of speech helps keep governmental power structures from deciding for the rest of us.

At the same time, death threats, defamation, outing people, or deliberately forcing people to relive trauma, can all keep people from speaking up. These undermine open discourse, and can violate freedom of speech. If individual platforms and individual groups adopt their own standards, these could protect people's ability to speak and participate.


Apr. 10th, 2017 06:04 pm
marjaerwin: (Default)

I have signed up for migration from Livejournal, but I'm not sure if the folks at Dreamwidth will be able to retreive my Livejournal. I tried using Scrapbook but could only save some of the newer posts from my Livejournal.

If this works I should probably set up separate blogs for:

* Personal life, disability issues, and other political matters.

* Games, and research.

* Fiction.

Of course some posts would fit into two or three groups.
marjaerwin: (Default)
So far I’ve contacted the VCLU and the DLCV. Neither one can help. The DLCV directed me to the sites of the agencies which mandate the beatings and strobings.


I have sensory processing issues, including a sound sensitivity/hyperacusis, and a strobe sensitivity. I can't take the beatings and strobings.

Beatings. Because of my sound sensitivity, pain hurts, and extreme pain, such as from sirens and backup beepers, can completely incapacitate me so I am unable to stand up or crawl away. I have been hit by both sirens and backup beepers while crossing the street, causing me to collapse in agony in the middle of the street. I also get hit by backup beepers at home. I have 26 nrr earplugs, and 37 nrr ear protectors, but they provide less than half their rated protection, so they aren't enough to withstand backup beepers or sirens, so I may still collapse in agony in the middle of the street. I am not supposed to wear them at all times, though I wear them whenever going outside and I keep them in reach when inside. I have also cut out tea and other foods that can worsen sound sensitivity.

Strobings. I have some type of low-frequency strobe sensitivity. My eeg was negative for photosensitive epilepsy. I get blinded and unbalanced by flashing lights. I stumble and sometimes stumble into the street after getting hit by flashing lights from multiple directions, such as turn signals, safety lights, crosswalk lights, etc. at an intersection. I avoid major intersections. I still have to shield my eyes from turn signals. I was hit by a car last June while crossing at a crosswalk at a minor intersection. I have a hard time getting around, because of all the flashing lights. I can also get migraines from flashing lights. I had a nasty migraine, and vomiting on the second or third day, after being strobed by blue lights before dawn last October. I have Polare sunglasses which are supposed to shield against the worst frequencies. I also have blackout curtains, but they weren't enough to deal with post-dusk or pre-dawn strobings.

I'm doing all I can to cope with the beatings and the strobings, and it's not enough. Do I have any legal protections or legal recourse?

P.S. Because of my sound sensitivity, phones are not accessible.

Marja Erwin
marjaerwin: (Default)
There’s a segment of the American right wing who

(a) strongly oppose abortion

(b) strongly support eugenics

© strongly oppose any support for children

(d) strongly oppose any attempt to stop bullying

(e) strongly support wars and other deadly policies

(f) sometimes accuse their opponents of things similar to what they would do or are doing

and (g) currently accuse Planned Parenthood of selling fetuses…
marjaerwin: (Default)
I'm still sick.

That is how it goes.

I'm not having so many migraines since quitting tea last November. I'm still struggling with the sound and strobe sensitivities. I can still get hammered by unexpected strobes if I try to walk outside, let alone to bike. I have set up a trainer stand at home, though, so I can get more exercise at home, and while reading. I had trouble with post-exertional symptoms in December and January, but they are fading now in February.

Some things that have helped:

* Quitting tea and cutting back on other salicylates.

* Vitamin supplements.

* Serotonin supplements, since fructose malabsorption impairs tryptophan absorption. It's important to avoid too much though.

* Zinc supplements, since fructose malabsorption impairs tryptophan absorption and zinc defiency is associated with post-exertional malaise in chronic fatigue syndrome. It's important to avoid too much though.


marjaerwin: (Default)

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