marjaerwin: (Default)
I oppose violence. I refuse to use violence or to participate in violence: no bullets, no ballots.

And yet I can't see any way to stop the violence. I have been bashed by neo-Nazis. Some of my friends have been raped. Countless other lgbt people have been murdered. Countless lgbt kids are being forced into homelessness by anti-lgbt parents.

I am asking for advice on how to stop the violence. A lot of it is invisible violence against invisibilized/marginalized minorities. We need to point out the violence, because the news hardly ever covers the violence. A lot of it is enabled by hatred, victim-blaming, and cultural norms. We need to expose the hatred. We need to expose the ways anti-lesbian, anti-gay, and anti-trans groups defame us, falsify data, encourage violence against us, and encourage genocide against lgbt people abroad [e.g. the 'Kill the Gays' campaign in Uganda]. We need to challenge the victim-blaming. We need to challenge the idea that our love is less meaningful and our identities are less real.

Of course, the hetero-cissupremacists claim we are 'hateful' when we call out their hate for being hateful.
marjaerwin: (Default)
"Every culture before us for thousands of years has supported the concept that marriage is only between one man and one woman."

Not true. Many cultures have taken polygyny, with one husband and several wives, for granted. In the bible [since the above claim most often comes from self-described Christians], Jacob has two wives, David has multiple wives, and Solomon has hundreds. Of course, in David's and Solomon's cases, it is tied to the power and corruption of kingship.

"This arrangement has been the building block of society since the start of civilization."

People said that about monarchy [obviously ignoring the facts] and about slavery too. In early Roman law, wives, children, and slaves were the property of their husband, father, or master, respectively [the principle of patria potestas].

****

It would help to have a list of what people have regarded as universal necessary building-blocks of society: slavery, feudalism, monarchy, aristocratic rule, patria potestas, raping slaves, raping womyn, raping children, beating children, female genital mutilation, the gender binary, warfare, ethnic/racial apartheid, forced birth, infanticide, human sacrifice, noble lies...
marjaerwin: (Default)
I just dreamed heterosupremacists were beating me bloody, again, while I people I trusted stood by. There was a nearby terf-run feminist event, and regardless of all that bitterness, some of them also face bashings, and I thought that the heterosupremacists might be on their way to attack that event, and only attacked me because I was an easy obviously-lesbian target on the way, but I could not get there to warn them, and nobody else would. Also, they had an airplane with these awful homophobic banners.
marjaerwin: (Default)
I'm not into guys. Except as friends. I mean I'm visibly lesbian, but a lot of guys seem to be interested in me, and some of them seem to keep hoping I'll turn straight. I have trouble guessing people's emotions, and I have trouble understanding dating culture, so I'm never quite sure whether they want to meet as friends, or whether they hope or expect to meet as something else.

I tend to be very cautious and make it as clear as possible that I'm not interested, I rebuff offers for one-on-one meetings though I'm happy with other friendly meetings. When I mention these habits, some people accuse me of misandry and accuse me of thinking all men are the same. I know they're not the same. If they are genuinely nice guys, and they are hoping for something more than friendship, I don't want them thinking I'm open to more than friendship because I'm not, and the miscommunication would waste their time and could hurt their feelings. I mean, more than joking about conversion and upgrade would do those things. If they are not-so-nice guys, things could get much, much worse.

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marjaerwin

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